20 Best Tulsa King Quotes Every Fan Needs to Know

Tulsa King is an amazing crime show with even better characters. Those characters, their conversations, dialogues and quotes are what make this show so amazing. Well, in this article, we have decided to make a list of the best Tulsa King quotes you need to know.

If you are a fan of the show, you certainly want to know what are the best Tulsa King quotes. Check them out below and try to remember the ones you love.

You ever been on a horse? – Bad Face
You ever been on life support? – Dwight

I married this life, and after keeping my mouth shut for all these years, I’m gonna see if it married me back. – Dwight

You know, someone’s got to slap some good grammar into your mouth and that’s gonna be me. – Dwight

You know, I feel like Rip Van Winkle. You wake up after 25 years, and GM has gone electric, Dylan has gone public, a phone is a camera, coffee? Five bucks a cup. And the Stones, bless their heart, they’re still on tour. – Dwight

Donny Shore. What can I do ya for? – Donny
Perry Como. Nice to meet you. – Dwight

The fact that it’s barely 11 am and you got a buzz to kill makes me question your work ethic. – Dwight
I’m selling weed, not operating a nuclear reactor. – Bodhi

You interrupted my breakfast for this? – Dwight
Dwight, it’s an antique. It’s like 19th Century. Pure copper. You ever see American Pickers? People go crazy for this shit. – Armand
Sure. What household couldn’t live without one of these? – Dwight

Why’d you go to jail? – Tyson
I didn’t go to jail. I went to prison. Jail’s like a five-star resort they put you in before they send you to prison. – Dwight
So, what’d you do? – Tyson
Ah, I tore the tongue outta this guy who kept asking so many stupid questions. – Dwight
That’s a bit excessive, don’t you think? – Tyson
I’m impressed. – Dwight

Mr. D! – Badface
Yeah? – Dwight
I ain’t got a lot of friends, so this means a lot to me that you’ve included me in this beatdown. Ohkahay.

You gettin’ in? – Tyson
You would think for two grand a week, you’d get out and open the door. – Dwight
Seriously? You want me to do that shit? – Tyson
No, but it would have been nice if you offered. – Dwight

You always have a home, Tyson, unless you choose not to. So, make your choice. – Mark

Listen, I need you to know that if you get jammed up here, there’s nothing’ I can do to help you out. – Stacy
I don’t expect you to. We done, Miss Stacy Beale? – Dwight

What the hell are you doin? Did you follow me here? – Tyson
No, I just set my GPS to dumbass mother fucker. – Mark

Isn’t that illegal? – Bodhi
You sell pot, for Chrissakes. – Dwight

This is why people break the law because they make everything legitimate so frigging complicated. – Dwight
It ain’t all that complicated. We’ll just get you a new license. – Tyson
You’re such a good citizen. – Dwight

How’s Tulsa treating ya? – Chickie
Are you kiddin’ me? It’s like the Paris of the southwest. – Dwight

I’m just saying; at least he’s got some integrity. – Stacy
Nothing sexier than a cold-blooded killer with principles. – Agent

I can’t sell it. They’ll think I stole it. – Armand
If I sell it, they’ll think I stole it. I think shoveling horseshit has affected your brain, Armand. – Dwight

Whoa! What the hell is that? – Dwight
It’s a grasshopper. They’re harmless. – Woman
That thing’s the size of my cock! – Dwight
Excuse me? – Woman
Actually, I’m more endowed than that, so [she sprays him in the face with holy water]. – Dwight

I’m afraid this isn’t the bonding moment you think it is, son. – Mark